So, sleep has been evading me.. which I don't think is unusual around this time of the semester... but with all the excitement in my life, I don't think I'll be sleeping normally for awhile. :P
I feel like I have a lot to share about my life, and that this whole blogging-as-an-online journal thing is pretty sweet, especially for me because I think everyone's individuality is awesome and SHOULD be shared. :P And I feel like a blog helps capture that because someone's actually gotta put some thought into what they're writing, instead of just like "checking in" on FB or twitter.
...but yeah, anyway. I really feel like I should've posted something super exciting about my mission call by now, and the awesomeness that is now, and also up ahead :P But I'm still not exactly sure how I feel about everything yet I guess... I mean in addition to the excitement... and I don't think I'd be able to articulate it in the best way at this point anyway... but yeah. So I owe a few blogs, about Christmas, Dad's surgery, my 21st birthday... lots of that kray.
For now though. Personality theory. I'm an ENFJ/ENFP... definitely more Judging than Perceiving (meaning I need a bit more order than chaos... I like to call it designated unstructured time :P... which is contradictory... not unlike my color personality which is blue-red) :P But I wanted to take a second and word vomit/reflect on one of the 'weaknesses' of this personality type --> "Sometimes unaware of social appropriateness or protocol" Now I laughed out loud when this was read to me, because I am a little bit on the uncouth side of the social appropriateness scale. Part of me LOVES it, I mean, lezbihonest. haha, but at the same time I feel like it's that part of me that has gotten me into a bit of trouble/ kept me from acting more my age. :P
And sometimes I wonder... dang, how am I going to be a good adult? I mean, I've been sober for a decent amount of time now; and since I don't drink or do drugs... so I can't blame some of my crazy on substance use. And, I know I'm pretty dang mature, because I have a deep desire to commit to the few things in life I know to be true. Also I'm a nurture-er at heart, and I think that being able to take care of people in a non-co-dependent way is a mark of maturity. So there is a lot of that. But I just wonder sometimes... since a lot of social behavior is learned, and since I grew up in a pretty normal white-upper-middle-class-classic-broken-mended-mixed-family-American home; how am I not more aware of social appropriateness/ more inclined to be more in this category?
It is a flaw of mine to over-think a thing or two, but I mean, what can I say? If I'm gonna be a missionary for a year and a half, and then try and be a therapist who inspires kids who have been labeled "anti-social" or "substance abusers" shouldn't I be a little more orthodox? I mean sure there's all kinds of people in the world, but I'm already treading on grounds that aren't exactly docile--in the mission field I'm already weird because I'm LDS; and in the psych field I'm weird because of the adult-teen relationship tension--so I mean, that's enough going against me already right? Can I really afford to be socially inappropriate?
Hm. Well, I guess we'll find out. Thankfully, I do have a sense of decorum. I interview like a boss, and so far my employers have still liked me when my personality has shown through, so that's comforting. Hopefully... hopefully one day, I'll find myself a bit more secure about this particular trait in myself, but I think until then, I can laugh about how I care about social acceptability towards my tendency to be socially un-accepted-ness :P
And with that, I believe it is time to turn the beat around and get my eyelids some sleep.
God is great, life is good, and people are crazy! :D
p.s. this website (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENFJ_rel.html) is a pretty accurate description of the general personality types. :)
