So today was the 7th
anniversary of my confirmation as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints! Yesterday I celebrated the renewal of my baptismal covenant
as I do each week when I get to take the sacrament, and I celebrated my
re-birthday too! My lovely roommate gave me a necklace to remind me of the tree of life, enduring to the end, and continuing to find peace and balance in life. Today, overall was pretty spectacular, but not
super eventful, which made me reflect upon the talk Bishop Causse gave in
conference two weeks ago…
As I’ve been contemplating where I
am right now in my young life, I’ve been reflective about where I’ve come from.
I remember how wonderful and sweet the gospel was when it first came into my
life in the form of a couple exceptionally good friends in high school. One of
which, had the courage to invite me to come to church… even though she knew I
didn’t share her standards or believe in her deity, she gave the invitation,
and I was able to attend!
That was wonderful. It was so
wonderful to me to experience a love that I had never before felt, like the
average teenager, I struggled with some pretty catastrophic ups and downs, but
some of them were a little more rocky than average, and this first experience I
had of love in that cute little church building was just the beginning of my
understanding of a power that would literally save my life. So I kept
attending, and then, after a couple months I met the missionaries.
That was wonderful. I remember the
two boys with the same first name, their faces changed on occasion, but they
were always really tall (I’m pretty short, so that’s not unexpected ;), always
wearing suits, and always named Elder! They taught me some things about the
church, about my relationship with my Father in Heaven, things I’d talked with
those exceptionally good friends about, but didn’t put a whole lot of thought
into… but the most important thing I learned was how to pray.
Now that, at first, wasn’t so
wonderful. My heart was being opened by the spirit, and something inside of me
was being stirred by the things I was learning in church and the tall guys with
name tags, but every time I tried to talk to the “man upstairs” I just felt
like my words were bouncing off the ceiling… until one night in frustration I put
away my usual relief of stress, and got on my knees instead.
That was wonderful! The simple
knowledge that God loves me personally, and that He was listening to my words,
that changed my life. God loves me! The Spirit that testified of that truth to
me was the same Spirit that was there when the missionaries were teaching me,
the same Spirit that was in the building I’d spent 3 hours in every single
Sunday, and the same Spirit that I felt when I’d heard truth and felt love in
my life… that simple knowledge had such a profound effect on me that I could
not even comprehend the things that had been set in motion.
That was wonderful, and over the
next year I slowly made some changes in my life, almost losing it at one point…
but those changes were made, and seven years and one day ago I was reborn,
baptized by water just like my Savior. And the next day, the day I celebrate
today, I was baptized by fire when I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, so
that wonderful Spirit that I felt when I entered into that church building the
first time, when I met with those missionaries, and when I received a witness
for myself that there is a True and Living God; that wonderful Spirit could be
my constant companion as I continue throughout my life.
Now that, that was truly wonderful.
I continued to have my ups and
downs, and I still have them, but there is that anchor of peace in my life that
I know is there, and that I seek out every day… yesterday was one of those days
when the seas were a little rougher than usual, and the desire to get out of
bed was minimal, one of those days when the darkness that is in the world
seemed greater than the light for a little more than a minute… but you know
what?
I was blessed enough to be able to
truly understand what life is at a young age, and circumstances permitted me
enter into covenants to anchor my faith. I’ve been so blessed throughout the
entirety of my life, through trials and strengths I’ve grown. But in these last
7 beautiful years of rebirth, I’ve understood better the meaning of “everybody
dies, but not everybody lives.” I’ve understood what it is to be bold and
valiant in my faith, and the strength that comes from keeping my covenants.
I’ve understood what it is like to see light fade in my life as I become casual
in my relationship with God and His simple steps He’s given me to stay on the
right path. I’ve learned what it is to be not just active, but proactive in the
gospel, and in my life.
God has made more of me than I
could ever have made of myself, and it is my humble declaration that I will
allow Him to continue to mold me in my life! Just as
I know that it won't be easy, but it will be wonderful!
(And this will be my theme song for the trip :)
With all of my heart,
Heather Ann Lagrosa
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