Scripture Power

There are roughly 12 days left until I’m sealed to the man of my eternity, and I wanted to post something up here encompassing a lot of thoughts I’ve been having lately pertaining to things of an eternal nature… I guess it’s pretty natural to be on my mind. So here is a picture of what I want to talk about!

So, ignoring all of the fun windswept hair from driving with the windows down, I would just like to point out the wonderful set of scriptures in my hand right there!

What sticks out to you?

Well, I’m going to share a little story about these sticks (aka the scriptures) here and explain why they are really symbolic to me as my marriage is approaching.

First off, this beautiful book here was a Christmas present from my parents when I was about 6 months into my mission! I was serving in New Mexico at the time, and it was not a surprise that I got them (because I had asked for them ;) but, it was wonderful that they came from my goodly parents (borrowing adjectives from Nephi’s writing :D).

When I was set apart to be a missionary I was promised that I would be able to share a strong testimony with those I taught of the blessings of temple covenants and the sealing power which has been restored to the earth today. I know that families are eternal, and the covenants we make with our Father in Heaven are the first steps we take to making our families eternal.

The best part of all of the covenants we make and blessings we receive, is that our Father in Heaven has laid out all of the doctrine and requirements he has in the words He has given to us through His prophets. The perfect order of His church, and the proper use of His power is all contained in the sacred records that were kept for us to read at this time in our day! Isn’t it wonderful?

So, on my mission, I kept my nametag on my scriptures to remind myself of who I was, and why I was out there. To remind myself of the sacred calling which I had, and for Whom I was working. To just add one more reminder that I was a set apart representative of Jesus Christ, and it was His name I wore on my chest every day.

The standards I lived then cannot fully be duplicated in non-missionary life, but I continue to keep my nametags in places where I can remember what I taught, and why the basics are so fundamental in our daily conversion.

The last, and newest addition to my beautiful scriptures came a couple of weeks ago when I decided to get my new name engraved on my mission scriptures! It was a gift-for-Joshua-but-kind-of-for-me-type-thing, but I realized when I got it done how everything has kind of come full circle in the 18 months I’ve been the proud owner of these beautiful sticks.

They came from my parents, they’ve reminded me daily of the doctrine I need to know to return to live with my Heavenly Father again, and now they bear the new last name that I will have symbolizing my eternal commitment to Joshua. It is wonderful the spirit that is attached to tangible items we have in our world. I know that we can’t take anything with us after we depart from this world. But I do know the power that I personally receive from the scriptures will help carry me through eternity.

I know my Savior loves me, and everything in this world testifies of Him, and His goodness. I know it is because of Him, and my personal journey to know Him better that I’ve come to this point in my life to be blessed with an eternal companion who is walking the same path as I am. I know families are meant to be forever, and that starts with a relationship with Heavenly Father.

I’m grateful for the little reminders we receive each day that allow us to remember Him, and remember why we are journeying here on earth.

With all of my heart,

Sister Heather Ann Lagrosa

p.s. Don't worry! Part 2 of the story is coming this week!! :D 

It is Wonderful: Rebirth

So today was the 7^th anniversary of my confirmation as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! Yesterday I celebrated the renewal of my baptismal covenant as I do each week when I get to take the sacrament, and I celebrated my re-birthday too! My lovely roommate gave me a necklace to remind me of the tree of life, enduring to the end, and continuing to find peace and balance in life. Today, overall was pretty spectacular, but not super eventful, which made me reflect upon the talk Bishop Causse gave in conference two weeks ago…

As I’ve been contemplating where I am right now in my young life, I’ve been reflective about where I’ve come from. I remember how wonderful and sweet the gospel was when it first came into my life in the form of a couple exceptionally good friends in high school. One of which, had the courage to invite me to come to church… even though she knew I didn’t share her standards or believe in her deity, she gave the invitation, and I was able to attend!

That was wonderful. It was so wonderful to me to experience a love that I had never before felt, like the average teenager, I struggled with some pretty catastrophic ups and downs, but some of them were a little more rocky than average, and this first experience I had of love in that cute little church building was just the beginning of my understanding of a power that would literally save my life. So I kept attending, and then, after a couple months I met the missionaries.

That was wonderful. I remember the two boys with the same first name, their faces changed on occasion, but they were always really tall (I’m pretty short, so that’s not unexpected ;), always wearing suits, and always named Elder! They taught me some things about the church, about my relationship with my Father in Heaven, things I’d talked with those exceptionally good friends about, but didn’t put a whole lot of thought into… but the most important thing I learned was how to pray.

Now that, at first, wasn’t so wonderful. My heart was being opened by the spirit, and something inside of me was being stirred by the things I was learning in church and the tall guys with name tags, but every time I tried to talk to the “man upstairs” I just felt like my words were bouncing off the ceiling… until one night in frustration I put away my usual relief of stress, and got on my knees instead.

That was wonderful! The simple knowledge that God loves me personally, and that He was listening to my words, that changed my life. God loves me! The Spirit that testified of that truth to me was the same Spirit that was there when the missionaries were teaching me, the same Spirit that was in the building I’d spent 3 hours in every single Sunday, and the same Spirit that I felt when I’d heard truth and felt love in my life… that simple knowledge had such a profound effect on me that I could not even comprehend the things that had been set in motion.

That was wonderful, and over the next year I slowly made some changes in my life, almost losing it at one point… but those changes were made, and seven years and one day ago I was reborn, baptized by water just like my Savior. And the next day, the day I celebrate today, I was baptized by fire when I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, so that wonderful Spirit that I felt when I entered into that church building the first time, when I met with those missionaries, and when I received a witness for myself that there is a True and Living God; that wonderful Spirit could be my constant companion as I continue throughout my life.

Now that, that was truly wonderful.

I continued to have my ups and downs, and I still have them, but there is that anchor of peace in my life that I know is there, and that I seek out every day… yesterday was one of those days when the seas were a little rougher than usual, and the desire to get out of bed was minimal, one of those days when the darkness that is in the world seemed greater than the light for a little more than a minute… but you know what?

It is still wonderful.

I was blessed enough to be able to truly understand what life is at a young age, and circumstances permitted me enter into covenants to anchor my faith. I’ve been so blessed throughout the entirety of my life, through trials and strengths I’ve grown. But in these last 7 beautiful years of rebirth, I’ve understood better the meaning of “everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” I’ve understood what it is to be bold and valiant in my faith, and the strength that comes from keeping my covenants. I’ve understood what it is like to see light fade in my life as I become casual in my relationship with God and His simple steps He’s given me to stay on the right path. I’ve learned what it is to be not just active, but proactive in the gospel, and in my life.

God has made more of me than I could ever have made of myself, and it is my humble declaration that I will allow Him to continue to mold me in my life! Just as 

I know that it won't be easy, but it will be wonderful!

(And this will be my theme song for the trip :)

With all of my heart,

Heather Ann Lagrosa

Light and Balance

This is my song of the day: Light by the Rocket Summer:

All I needed was a light in the darkest place

 I've ever been in all my life, as I try to find my way 

And the changing season of my life and my eyes don't see

The things I love have run their course, are they done?

Are they just beginning?

And I'm old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough,

And young enough to know that I can't ever be too old enough to trust You!

Higher and higher I wanna go there with you,

Some say your fire, your fire is through...

And I don't wanna think that way.

     So it's been about 2 and a half months since I've been home from the mission, and there's been a LOT of adjustment happening up in here! On the mission the weeks felt like days, and the days felt like weeks; now the weeks still feel like days, but the days feel like minutes! I feel blessed with work, direction, and most importantly a considerable amount of love in my life... it has been incredible to experience the changes that I underwent out in the mission field! I knew I was changing, heck, anyone who read my e-mails home knew it, and boy oh boy how I grew! ...and how I continue to grow! It's been interesting to face similar life situations that I had in the past, and see them differently because of who I have become!

     It's made me ponder a lot on how to keep this going:

     Finding balance on this road I travel is a task for sure... it's like I have a book on my head and I'm trying to walk on a balance beam with it: the book is all my tasks I need to complete coupled with the everyday routine I need to be involved in; and the balance beam is spinning over a river that turns into that waterfall on Emperor's New Groove! haha, but for real, there's a new balance to be found every day, and there's an elegant peace that comes with that new accomplishment.

     Of the many activities of daily life that I've become acquainted with since I've been able to expand the ways in which I can consecrate my life unto the Lord has been working at the temple!

     It has by FAR been the best calling I have ever received! I really love the perspective it gives me on how short this time is here on earth, while reminding me of the importance of this blink of an eye that is my mortal life. The work I do, the work I could not do without my Savior's help... it's urgent, and it has eternal consequence; however, it's not the focus of my life... neither should it be. He is the ultimate and exclusive focus of my life, and I need to continue to allow him to light my steps. Christ is the word made flesh, and the word of God is truly a lamp unto my feet (Psalm 119:105).



     Another place that has helped me to gain perspective has been at institute class, where I'm learning more about God's word in a class on the book of Revelation and the book of Isaiah! :D It's basically foolproof, when you open the scriptures to have the Spirit speak to you and relate it to your life in some way, but in a classroom setting (and taking away the grading part of it), there's conversation and revelation that comes in very few other fashions... we spoke about balance in my Isaiah class, and my teacher explained this to us:

     This little picture shows a person's heart being weighed with a feather... now I'm no scriptorian or Egyptian historian, but in common man's term's I'll explain my understanding of this, and how that understanding has helped me obtain a little more light and truth in my life.
     So they had a belief that your heart would be balanced with a feather... in the scriptures it often talks about "hardened hearts" and how as we go through this life we have an opportunity to receive literal spiritual heart transplants, where we trade in our "stony" heart, to receive a lighter heart of sorts (Ezekiel 11 and 36). When we are baptized, we are reborn in Christ, our hearts change, the scriptures have many references of changing hearts paralleling lives coming in line with God's will. And the Egyptians had some partial truths in their faith (I mean, the children of Israel were in bondage there for a couple generations right?), and so, at that last day when you were judged (the balance representing justice), a light heart would balance out with a feather.
     I remember our teacher drawing another parallel my mind loves with the word light, it's very flexible in its meaning! It's not only a weight, but it's also a source of sight right? When we say the room is light, we generally aren't talking about its weight right? :D Anyway, as our hearts change, and those stony hearts are removed from our spiritual chests, and we receive the word of God, which is literally Christ (because everything testifies of Him), and He is truth and light personified; our hearts are filled with His light, and balancing out with a feather is perfect imagery for that do you not agree?

     Anyway, it makes me happy to think about... our time here is short! My time is short, but each moment is a blessing, each soul I am able to become acquainted with, each child of God I am able to assist on the path back to our Father, each one that is able to help me... it can seem a little stressful and chaotic, but at that one perfectly balanced perspective... from that angle there is an angelic beauty that can only be understood through the Spirit's impression.

With all my heart,
Heather Ann Lagrosa

I Like the Mission Life! -- A Postscript of Sorts

I figure it's about time I write down a few of the things that have been rolling around in my brain as I start so many responses recently with "That's one of the biggest things I learned on my mission!..."

It's almost hard for me to believe that I committed 80 weeks of my life to wearing a skirt, staying in one geographical area without getting on a plane, becoming even MORE technologically retarded, and being attached to another Sister 24 hours a day... but because the few luxuries of life I 'gave' up I've gained so much more perspective and love. I learned that I'm a deep thinker! Why I didn't know that the first 21 years of my life, I'm not sure, but I guess I also learned that I'm kind of unobservant sometimes. :P I learned more of my strengths and my weaknesses, and how to have that help me rely on my Savior. I learned more about what true charity is, how to not just look at someone, but see him or her as who he or she could become! I was tested, in every way and I learned the depth of my conversion, and decided to make it deeper. I've never had experiences where I felt so worthless nor irreplaceable... and all of these experiences, the extreme and the normal have come together for my growth, and my good. Luckily I was also able to be assistance in other's growth as well! :)

But now, I'm fixin' to head back west, which back in the day was the place to go for new beginnings, and it seems only fair that I give the mission chapter of my life a close and share some of my thoughts, goals, and resolutions (in as condensed of a form as I can muster up) for whatever they are worth. There are seven, just to keep it to a nice round, holy number. :)

1) Intention, Truth and Balance
Okay, so I could probably spend another 18 months just writing my thoughts about intention alone, but to keep this simplified I'll just relate this little lesson to Moroni 10:3-5 (a.k.a. Moroni's promise in the Book of Mormon). Where he promises that if you read, and pray with real intent, then the truth will be manifested to you by the Spirit of God.
As missionaries we invited people to make and keep commitments (like reading or praying) to help them come unto Christ. Just as the Savior Himself told His disciples that if they ask the Father anything [anything!] in His name, it would be given them. Well, we know that to be true; however, there is always a price to pay, a sacrifice to make for truth. That sacrifice is our will to be replaced with God's will. This can only be done with INTENTION TO CHANGE (see James 1:5-6).
Therefore, as we go about our lives, effectually to glorify our Father in Heaven, we need to do so with real intent. As we speak with others, we need to speak with intention to help, to love, just as the Savior did. When we look at ourselves and reflect upon our own actions and thoughts, we need to have intention and faith as we face truth that may not be the most enjoyable; and accept gracefully truth that is enjoyable without having it turn to pride.
With true intentions we can receive truth in a productive way and be able to balance out the negative and positive that come at us every day. To be able to rise above the negative, fiery darts of the adversary to ascend to our full potential; and to avoid the half-truths Satan feeds us as we may have a proclivity to be puffed up with unrighteous pride in our personal talents. As we do everything with intention, we receive truth and create balance.

...which leads to my 2nd lesson

2) You've Gotta Get Your Priorities Straight!
One of my favorite things ever said to me on the mission was on a Thursday evening in Midland Texas, from a man of rather large stature as we were trying to set up an appointment to return to see him and his family again. He said to us: "Now girls, there are only two things that matter in this world: God and Texas Football! ...this weekend is just not going to work"
Oh man that was classic, but it goes to show that we each have our priorities! :D For me though, what I learned throughout my 18 months was just a reinforcement of the two great commandments:

1st Love The Lord Thy God
2nd Love Thy Neighbor

With such a focus on becoming Christlike and everything it's sometimes difficult to remember the order of these two commandments in how we prioritize our lives. In my experience though, I've learned that you really can't love others to your full capacity without loving God fully first! With all of that though, with these priorities, I've learned that since we are imperfect our "fullness" capacity changes a little bit from day to day. So we need to work hard, and as we keep God first in our lives, and don't cheat ourselves out of the blessings of understanding our full potential, we will be able to love those around us without fear of our imperfections (or theirs) getting in the way.

...which leads to my 3rd lesson

3) Take Personal Responsibility (TPR)
This is one of my favorite lessons I've had re-edified on my mission! I always was taught as I was growing up to be responsible (which I've seen taught less and less over the past few years), but taking responsibility for your actions is the ONLY way that you can be the change you want to see in the world! Being responsible is the ONLY way you can have the freedom to do what you need to do to be your best self! And taking personal responsibility was taught to us very lovingly and honestly by our dear Savior, Jesus Christ.
Through His entire life, He exemplified that He was truly the Only Begotten Son of God. From teaching in the temple as a 12 year old child to His formal 3 year ministry that we have a little bit of a better record of... Jesus 1st knew that He was the Son of God and 2nd showed that knowledge (let's just say He took responsibility for that) by living in a way that everyone else who observed Him knew it too...
Even though it angered some, even though Jesus Christ was betrayed by one of His closest friends, He never ever blamed anyone else for the trials He went through, He never complained about the wickedness around Him and used it as an excuse to sin, but He lived true to who He was and what He was called here to do.
So the lesson I learned from Him, and from my mission, is that even though I have a million and a half things that I could blame for my shortcomings I simply cannot do it. I can't... I'm by no means perfect as my Savior is; however, I am an agent unto my own self, and I must act accordingly. My elevator may stop a few floors short of the the top of the building, and I may be tired from a long day of working my hardest and still not having everything done that I need to, but I can use that knowledge of my shortcomings and improve! I can take the stairs the rest of the way up, I can go to bed earlier so I'm not as tired, I can try to focus more, etc. But my shortcomings don't take away from my worth, but I know I'm meant for the top floor, so I'm not going to settle for less either!

Which leads me to my next lesson!

4) Love and Understanding
As I've learned about intention, priorities, and responsibility, I've realized that all of these practical life lessons (which pretty perfectly have gospel parallels... I'd even say they are gospel lessons, with mortal life parallels, but I digress...), with all of these lessons there is a root in love and understanding!

My life would not be, if it were not for love!

And it could not continue had I not sought for understanding.

Everything in my life is pretty meaningless without love... It's my motive for everything in one way or another. Love is understanding also. Quite a few of you who read this blog know my background, you know how my life has changed just a step at a time, and the reason for the great change that has come to be is the simple fact that I was able to feel God's love! Since that night I had my first prayer answered, I've been working hard to understand it more... it's no longer enough to just know He loves me... I need to experience it everyday, and my understanding of the truthful statement: Heather Ann Lagrosa you are a daughter of God and He loves you so much! just increases exponentially. I know I would not have chosen to be here on this earth had I not know that God loves me, I would not have stuck around had I not learned it again, and I could not continue to survive without the hunger to continue to understand that better...

Which leads me to lesson five!

5) The Basics Keep You Fit
In finding balance while progressing, I've learned that a schedule really keeps me sane! :D We always taught CPR (Church, Pray, Read Your Scriptures!) on the mission to keep us spiritually alive. And boy oh boy! has my testimony grown of that fact!!!! :D
In finding balance between the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual parts of ourselves in this crazy-demanding life we live, we need to do basic things every day to continue to function and stay fit (mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually!) For me, my basics are:
Mentally, I've got to be learning something daily- I need to stimulate my brain, make connections to things and find parallels and truth!
Physically- I need to run, walk, do something active to give my brain a break, and be more aware of this temple that holds my spirit.
Emotionally- I need to have depth in conversation, I need to focus on gratitude, and I need to feel productive/helpful.
Spiritually- I need CPR just like the rest of everyone else, I've also learned that I need to attend the temple, and I need to make a connection from the scriptures to 1- my life and 2- love EVERY DAY... otherwise I struggle.

Now these are just my basics, but it does lead to the next lesson I've learned...

6) Communication Is Everything
You really learn a lot about yourself and how you deal with other people by being attached to one other person 24/7 for 6 weeks at a time! In getting needs met, it is imperative that you have 3 lines of communication that are open.
1st- with Heavenly Father - I've learned that this truly is key to happiness is being open in conversation with Him, because He cares about the details of my life, but He doesn't micro-manage and just take all the bad stuff away when I ask, but He allows me to LEARN, and grow!
2nd- with myself - I'm probably the luckiest person in the world, because I get to spend 24 hours a day with myself! (...and I wonder why some people think I'm conceited... anyway, there is only partial truth to that last sentence :P) But, I've learned, especially on the mission that I need to be honest with myself about my own personal needs. They are different than most other people's needs, because I'm different, just like you, your family, etc.... but I need to be honest with myself so I can be teachable and open to 1- receiving help, and 2- growing and seeing my needs change
3rd- with those around you- Now this is not to say to just spill your guts to strangers on the street (although as a missionary you do just kind of give a piece your soul to everyone as you share your testimony with them...) but, what this means to me is that you need to be open with others so that you can receive help. We are all neighbors, we are all part of God's family, we all have a slight obligation to respect those around us. This is important to remember because Heavenly Father often uses others to answer our prayers, whether it's helping us gain a new perspective to giving us a shoulder to cry on, we need to have an open line with one another to be our best!

...and now for the best piece of advice:

7) DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
Okay, so coming right after the communication lesson, this isn't something like: hey carry a voice recorder around with you and transcribe your life, but something I learned on my mission is that material items kind of suck, and you really can't replace memories! I know my most valued possessions are my journals and my pictures... aside from my scriptures lol, but there is no better way to 1- remember the awesomeness that you're blessed with and 2- show gratitude for it than by writing it down so you can remember it!
Journals, pictures, letters... all amazingness!
My study journal is almost more favorite than my regular journal, because it's neat to see how the exact same words in the scriptures have a different effect on me and my thoughts over time.
Also, I have random thoughts journals, and theories and memoir... all in the works, but hey, we're all a work in progress right? :D
But pictures... now THERE is something IRREPLACABLE! haha, now I'm not the "let's get the perfect picture" kind of girl -- which isn't always the best -- but, oh man, the FUNNIEST moments are caught on camera! And sometimes those snapshots are worth more than a thousand words! :D

So this has been my mission... 

5 June 2013 - 17 December 2014

18 Months

15 Companions

8 Areas

7 Moves

2 States

1 Life-creating Experience

I know I've got a long ways to go in life, and the lessons I've learned I'll continue to learn. I'm 2 years older, and 20 years wiser I feel... I served in a town with a population of 300 to a city with a population of 300,000. I talked with everyone I met outside with temperatures ranging from 10 degrees to 110 degrees. I taught inside mansions, 5th wheel trailers, and even outside with a man standing on a ladder! I increased my love for running, and escaped a few dogs ;) I learned how to ride my bike and turn corners without hands. I rode and drove so many miles I couldn't even estimate. I ate peanut butter... LOTS of peanut butter. Oh and 7 habanero peppers in about 20 minutes... that one hurt! I got the flu for the first time in my life. I had some of the BEST holidays ever. I read my scriptures. I went fishing. I laughed. I cried. I lived... and some nights it felt like I died before I woke up the next morning lol... I met some of my best friends, and I faced some of my worst fears. But overall the greatest accomplishment to have come from this experience is me... who I am right now!

It's only kind of a bummer I'm going to be changing [for the better] continually anyway, but I know I'm working on a foundation of stone. I love my God, and I love myself. I'm converted and I'm always moving forward. With love and with hope, because I'm not quite home yet!

I love you! Thank you!

With all my heart,

[Sister] Heather Ann Lagrosa