It's almost hard for me to believe that I committed 80 weeks of my life to wearing a skirt, staying in one geographical area without getting on a plane, becoming even MORE technologically retarded, and being attached to another Sister 24 hours a day... but because the few luxuries of life I 'gave' up I've gained so much more perspective and love. I learned that I'm a deep thinker! Why I didn't know that the first 21 years of my life, I'm not sure, but I guess I also learned that I'm kind of unobservant sometimes. :P I learned more of my strengths and my weaknesses, and how to have that help me rely on my Savior. I learned more about what true charity is, how to not just look at someone, but see him or her as who he or she could become! I was tested, in every way and I learned the depth of my conversion, and decided to make it deeper. I've never had experiences where I felt so worthless nor irreplaceable... and all of these experiences, the extreme and the normal have come together for my growth, and my good. Luckily I was also able to be assistance in other's growth as well! :)
But now, I'm fixin' to head back west, which back in the day was the place to go for new beginnings, and it seems only fair that I give the mission chapter of my life a close and share some of my thoughts, goals, and resolutions (in as condensed of a form as I can muster up) for whatever they are worth. There are seven, just to keep it to a nice round, holy number. :)
1) Intention, Truth and Balance
Okay, so I could probably spend another 18 months just writing my thoughts about intention alone, but to keep this simplified I'll just relate this little lesson to Moroni 10:3-5 (a.k.a. Moroni's promise in the Book of Mormon). Where he promises that if you read, and pray with real intent, then the truth will be manifested to you by the Spirit of God.
As missionaries we invited people to make and keep commitments (like reading or praying) to help them come unto Christ. Just as the Savior Himself told His disciples that if they ask the Father anything [anything!] in His name, it would be given them. Well, we know that to be true; however, there is always a price to pay, a sacrifice to make for truth. That sacrifice is our will to be replaced with God's will. This can only be done with INTENTION TO CHANGE (see James 1:5-6).
Therefore, as we go about our lives, effectually to glorify our Father in Heaven, we need to do so with real intent. As we speak with others, we need to speak with intention to help, to love, just as the Savior did. When we look at ourselves and reflect upon our own actions and thoughts, we need to have intention and faith as we face truth that may not be the most enjoyable; and accept gracefully truth that is enjoyable without having it turn to pride.
With true intentions we can receive truth in a productive way and be able to balance out the negative and positive that come at us every day. To be able to rise above the negative, fiery darts of the adversary to ascend to our full potential; and to avoid the half-truths Satan feeds us as we may have a proclivity to be puffed up with unrighteous pride in our personal talents. As we do everything with intention, we receive truth and create balance.
...which leads to my 2nd lesson
2) You've Gotta Get Your Priorities Straight!
One of my favorite things ever said to me on the mission was on a Thursday evening in Midland Texas, from a man of rather large stature as we were trying to set up an appointment to return to see him and his family again. He said to us: "Now girls, there are only two things that matter in this world: God and Texas Football! ...this weekend is just not going to work"
Oh man that was classic, but it goes to show that we each have our priorities! :D For me though, what I learned throughout my 18 months was just a reinforcement of the two great commandments:
1st Love The Lord Thy God
2nd Love Thy Neighbor
2nd Love Thy Neighbor
...which leads to my 3rd lesson
3) Take Personal Responsibility (TPR)
This is one of my favorite lessons I've had re-edified on my mission! I always was taught as I was growing up to be responsible (which I've seen taught less and less over the past few years), but taking responsibility for your actions is the ONLY way that you can be the change you want to see in the world! Being responsible is the ONLY way you can have the freedom to do what you need to do to be your best self! And taking personal responsibility was taught to us very lovingly and honestly by our dear Savior, Jesus Christ.
Through His entire life, He exemplified that He was truly the Only Begotten Son of God. From teaching in the temple as a 12 year old child to His formal 3 year ministry that we have a little bit of a better record of... Jesus 1st knew that He was the Son of God and 2nd showed that knowledge (let's just say He took responsibility for that) by living in a way that everyone else who observed Him knew it too...
Even though it angered some, even though Jesus Christ was betrayed by one of His closest friends, He never ever blamed anyone else for the trials He went through, He never complained about the wickedness around Him and used it as an excuse to sin, but He lived true to who He was and what He was called here to do.
So the lesson I learned from Him, and from my mission, is that even though I have a million and a half things that I could blame for my shortcomings I simply cannot do it. I can't... I'm by no means perfect as my Savior is; however, I am an agent unto my own self, and I must act accordingly. My elevator may stop a few floors short of the the top of the building, and I may be tired from a long day of working my hardest and still not having everything done that I need to, but I can use that knowledge of my shortcomings and improve! I can take the stairs the rest of the way up, I can go to bed earlier so I'm not as tired, I can try to focus more, etc. But my shortcomings don't take away from my worth, but I know I'm meant for the top floor, so I'm not going to settle for less either!
Which leads me to my next lesson!
4) Love and Understanding
As I've learned about intention, priorities, and responsibility, I've realized that all of these practical life lessons (which pretty perfectly have gospel parallels... I'd even say they are gospel lessons, with mortal life parallels, but I digress...), with all of these lessons there is a root in love and understanding!
My life would not be, if it were not for love!
And it could not continue had I not sought for understanding.
Everything in my life is pretty meaningless without love... It's my motive for everything in one way or another. Love is understanding also. Quite a few of you who read this blog know my background, you know how my life has changed just a step at a time, and the reason for the great change that has come to be is the simple fact that I was able to feel God's love! Since that night I had my first prayer answered, I've been working hard to understand it more... it's no longer enough to just know He loves me... I need to experience it everyday, and my understanding of the truthful statement: Heather Ann Lagrosa you are a daughter of God and He loves you so much! just increases exponentially. I know I would not have chosen to be here on this earth had I not know that God loves me, I would not have stuck around had I not learned it again, and I could not continue to survive without the hunger to continue to understand that better...
Which leads me to lesson five!
5) The Basics Keep You Fit
In finding balance while progressing, I've learned that a schedule really keeps me sane! :D We always taught CPR (Church, Pray, Read Your Scriptures!) on the mission to keep us spiritually alive. And boy oh boy! has my testimony grown of that fact!!!! :D
In finding balance between the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual parts of ourselves in this crazy-demanding life we live, we need to do basic things every day to continue to function and stay fit (mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually!) For me, my basics are:
Mentally, I've got to be learning something daily- I need to stimulate my brain, make connections to things and find parallels and truth!
Physically- I need to run, walk, do something active to give my brain a break, and be more aware of this temple that holds my spirit.
Emotionally- I need to have depth in conversation, I need to focus on gratitude, and I need to feel productive/helpful.
Spiritually- I need CPR just like the rest of everyone else, I've also learned that I need to attend the temple, and I need to make a connection from the scriptures to 1- my life and 2- love EVERY DAY... otherwise I struggle.
Now these are just my basics, but it does lead to the next lesson I've learned...
6) Communication Is Everything
You really learn a lot about yourself and how you deal with other people by being attached to one other person 24/7 for 6 weeks at a time! In getting needs met, it is imperative that you have 3 lines of communication that are open.
1st- with Heavenly Father - I've learned that this truly is key to happiness is being open in conversation with Him, because He cares about the details of my life, but He doesn't micro-manage and just take all the bad stuff away when I ask, but He allows me to LEARN, and grow!
2nd- with myself - I'm probably the luckiest person in the world, because I get to spend 24 hours a day with myself! (...and I wonder why some people think I'm conceited... anyway, there is only partial truth to that last sentence :P) But, I've learned, especially on the mission that I need to be honest with myself about my own personal needs. They are different than most other people's needs, because I'm different, just like you, your family, etc.... but I need to be honest with myself so I can be teachable and open to 1- receiving help, and 2- growing and seeing my needs change
3rd- with those around you- Now this is not to say to just spill your guts to strangers on the street (although as a missionary you do just kind of give a piece your soul to everyone as you share your testimony with them...) but, what this means to me is that you need to be open with others so that you can receive help. We are all neighbors, we are all part of God's family, we all have a slight obligation to respect those around us. This is important to remember because Heavenly Father often uses others to answer our prayers, whether it's helping us gain a new perspective to giving us a shoulder to cry on, we need to have an open line with one another to be our best!
...and now for the best piece of advice:
7) DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
Okay, so coming right after the communication lesson, this isn't something like: hey carry a voice recorder around with you and transcribe your life, but something I learned on my mission is that material items kind of suck, and you really can't replace memories! I know my most valued possessions are my journals and my pictures... aside from my scriptures lol, but there is no better way to 1- remember the awesomeness that you're blessed with and 2- show gratitude for it than by writing it down so you can remember it!
Journals, pictures, letters... all amazingness!
My study journal is almost more favorite than my regular journal, because it's neat to see how the exact same words in the scriptures have a different effect on me and my thoughts over time.
Also, I have random thoughts journals, and theories and memoir... all in the works, but hey, we're all a work in progress right? :D
But pictures... now THERE is something IRREPLACABLE! haha, now I'm not the "let's get the perfect picture" kind of girl -- which isn't always the best -- but, oh man, the FUNNIEST moments are caught on camera! And sometimes those snapshots are worth more than a thousand words! :D
So this has been my mission...
5 June 2013 - 17 December 2014
18 Months
15 Companions
8 Areas
7 Moves
2 States
1 Life-creating Experience
I know I've got a long ways to go in life, and the lessons I've learned I'll continue to learn. I'm 2 years older, and 20 years wiser I feel... I served in a town with a population of 300 to a city with a population of 300,000. I talked with everyone I met outside with temperatures ranging from 10 degrees to 110 degrees. I taught inside mansions, 5th wheel trailers, and even outside with a man standing on a ladder! I increased my love for running, and escaped a few dogs ;) I learned how to ride my bike and turn corners without hands. I rode and drove so many miles I couldn't even estimate. I ate peanut butter... LOTS of peanut butter. Oh and 7 habanero peppers in about 20 minutes... that one hurt! I got the flu for the first time in my life. I had some of the BEST holidays ever. I read my scriptures. I went fishing. I laughed. I cried. I lived... and some nights it felt like I died before I woke up the next morning lol... I met some of my best friends, and I faced some of my worst fears. But overall the greatest accomplishment to have come from this experience is me... who I am right now!
It's only kind of a bummer I'm going to be changing [for the better] continually anyway, but I know I'm working on a foundation of stone. I love my God, and I love myself. I'm converted and I'm always moving forward. With love and with hope, because I'm not quite home yet!
I love you! Thank you!
With all my heart,
[Sister] Heather Ann Lagrosa
