I know that Heavenly Father knows and cares about each and every single one of His children. He wants us to know the goodness and potential that we have, and obtain a desire to work to become the best we can be. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer, and that it is through His grace and mercy that I, personally, have been able to slowly become a little bit better every day. The gospel is simple, and it is true. Heavenly Father loves His children, His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ came to the earth to atone for our sins, and it is through our acceptance of Him that we can use His power to make the changes we need to in our lives so that we can one day return to live with our Heavenly Father again. My God is loving, merciful, kind, and just; He knows what we need, and His timing is perfect (especially if we aren't feeling it... kinda like that saying "If you wanna make God laugh just tell Him your plan." yeah, there's definitely some truth in that). Heavenly Father knows how to succor His children, even if it doesn't seem like love to us when He lets us go through those difficult times to make us stronger.
2Tim 1:6-10 is probably my favorite passage of scripture in the entire standard works. The apostle Paul is writing to his son Timothy, and is reminding him that he has been given gifts from God, that even though fear is natural, that Heavenly Father has given us power, love and soundness of mind. With these gifts, we should not be ashamed of our testimony of Him, and part of that requires us to partake in uncomfortable afflictions. But the best part is that we are never left alone, because God is always with us. We can do no work on our own, only through Him. It's through Christ, through His gospel, that we can truly, truly, progress, and obtain eternal life.
I think everyone should question themselves on a daily basis, and give serious thought as to how they are living their lives. When I've felt fear, or temptation to stray from the gospel, I've taken the time to ask myself "Do you seriously believe in this?" As I prepare to partake of the sacrament, and review the promises I've covenanted with the Lord I think to myself "So you're in this for life huh?" And when I sit down to read my scriptures every day when I could be studying for a test, or sleeping in, I ask myself "Is this really how you want to spend your time?" I don't always get a positive answer when I'm being honest (especially with the morning scripture study, it's hard for me to get to sleep as it is...), but in the end I know that even though it's hard, and even though I'm weird, (let's be honest Mormons are pretty weird, and I was way weird before I was a member...) I know I'm living my life in a way that I'm being the best me I can be. Even with all my imperfections, unhappiness, and clear shortcomings, Heavenly Father provides a way!
So over the past couple of months, as I was waiting in agony to get my call, feeling absolutely alone and forgotten at some times, to the day I got my call, the evening I was able to go through the temple, and the past few weeks I've been so terrified to go to a new place where I don't know anyone, and I'm going to be the most stationary I've ever been in my entire life (meaning no traveling), I've asked myself again and again "Why did you sign up for this?" I want to bring people closer to Christ and share the gospel in the way that Heavenly Father has provided me (I've always done stuff my own way, and I'll have the rest of my life to make up my own schedule). I want people to learn about their greatness from His perspective. The world teaches us that we need recognition from others to be great, which I think keeps us from fully being able to accept ourselves. I know that the greatness we can achieve doesn't need to immortalize our names in any history book, but greatness comes as we take upon ourselves an eternal perspective. Then, we can share this love, and confidence with others. Christ is my rock, my Redeemer, the reason that I am alive today, and I want to sacrifice a bit of my time and my desires to understand His life a little bit more, and to share that understanding with others. I know there is a living prophet on the earth today, Thomas Spencer Monson who is the President of our church. A church that was restored by Joseph Smith, who saw God the Father and Jesus Christ in a grove of trees when he was only 14 years old.
I want to go share the gospel because it is simple, and it is true. I don't have all the answers, and I know that I don't need all of them, because the truth is simple. Heavenly Father loves me, He knows me, and He wants me to return to Him. This is true for everyone, and I want to teach those who are willing to learn, testify to those who can hear, and just generally try to be a good influence to the people I have the privileged of interacting with in this life. My whole life-career goals are centered around helping people become their best them by forsaking things that are holding them back (helping teenagers with substance use/abuse/addiction issues). My deepest desire in life is to help people see their own personal goodness and the goodness in those around them through all of the negative crap that weighs upon us in this life. I want people to make positive changes in the world, and understand that there is more to life than "greatness" or money or the next awesome fruit phone. You are your most important investment, and your purpose has no earthly value.
So Lubbock, watch out! Sister Lagrosa is on her way! June 5th is when the adventure begins. :)
Love, Sister Heather Ann Lagrosa