So as most of you know I am going to serve as a full time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I've been called to serve for 18 months in the Texas, Lubbock mission! AND I"M SUPER EXCITED!! I got my call about 1 month ago, on February 1st 2013... but it's taken me awhile to get a blog post up, because I haven't really been able to fully express the reasoning behind why I want to serve.
I started a countdown to the day I could start my papers during the summer of 2011, I was just excited to get them going, but, clearly, my papers didn't get in a year later. They went in January 6th 2013, after a whirlwind fall semester I spent wondering why the Lord wanted me to wait to go serve. As always though, things really fell into place for me, I have received so much comfort in my call, and I know I am so much better prepared to serve the Lord after the few months that I delayed in turning in my papers.
But none of that explained why I want to serve. It's easy for people to be excited for someone to serve, and I know there are a bunch of reasons why I want to go, but I haven't been able to pin-point it down well. Aaand, believe it or not, I don't like to talk about things of importance, unless I really know what I'm talking about (which might be why I'm a little long-winded sometimes... but yeah) sooo here goes nothing:
Some people say that this definition is why they decide to serve a mission (young men get to serve for two years). I learned that families can be eternal when I first started talking with some of the wonderful LDS students at my high school, and learned more about this doctrine when I met with the missionaries and took the discussions. I've learned so much more since those lessons 5 years ago, and I feel that I can appreciate the reality of an eternal family so much more. I know that some of the greatest lessons we can learn, the greatest sorrows we can experience, and the most profound blessings we can experience come from the family.
As the only member of the LDS church in my family, it may seem like this definition isn't exactly the best fit for my outlook of missionary service... and if that was your thought, yeah I'd say you'd be right. I think that a lot of people think it's crazy for someone to be totally off the grid, facebook, e-mail, smartphone - free for 18 months!?! Only being able to e-mail family members once a week, and talk to them only on Christmas and Mother's day? Yeah, it sounds pretty crazy, but it's not my work I'm going to be doing it's the Lord's work. I find my reasons to serve rooted in the next three scriptures, the first two explain my faith, and the last one my strength and confidence:
Moses 1:39- "For behold this is my work and my glory -- to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."
John 3:17- "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
2Tim 1:6-10 - "Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 8 Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God; 9 Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, 10 But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel
I know that Heavenly Father knows and cares about each and every single one of His children. He wants us to know the goodness and potential that we have, and obtain a desire to work to become the best we can be. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer, and that it is through His grace and mercy that I, personally, have been able to slowly become a little bit better every day. The gospel is simple, and it is true. Heavenly Father loves His children, His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ came to the earth to atone for our sins, and it is through our acceptance of Him that we can use His power to make the changes we need to in our lives so that we can one day return to live with our Heavenly Father again. My God is loving, merciful, kind, and just; He knows what we need, and His timing is perfect (especially if we aren't feeling it... kinda like that saying "If you wanna make God laugh just tell Him your plan." yeah, there's definitely some truth in that). Heavenly Father knows how to succor His children, even if it doesn't seem like love to us when He lets us go through those difficult times to make us stronger.
2Tim 1:6-10 is probably my favorite passage of scripture in the entire standard works. The apostle Paul is writing to his son Timothy, and is reminding him that he has been given gifts from God, that even though fear is natural, that Heavenly Father has given us power, love and soundness of mind. With these gifts, we should not be ashamed of our testimony of Him, and part of that requires us to partake in uncomfortable afflictions. But the best part is that we are never left alone, because God is always with us. We can do no work on our own, only through Him. It's through Christ, through His gospel, that we can truly, truly, progress, and obtain eternal life.
I think everyone should question themselves on a daily basis, and give serious thought as to how they are living their lives. When I've felt fear, or temptation to stray from the gospel, I've taken the time to ask myself "Do you seriously believe in this?" As I prepare to partake of the sacrament, and review the promises I've covenanted with the Lord I think to myself "So you're in this for life huh?" And when I sit down to read my scriptures every day when I could be studying for a test, or sleeping in, I ask myself "Is this really how you want to spend your time?" I don't always get a positive answer when I'm being honest (especially with the morning scripture study, it's hard for me to get to sleep as it is...), but in the end I know that even though it's hard, and even though I'm weird, (let's be honest Mormons are pretty weird, and I was way weird before I was a member...) I know I'm living my life in a way that I'm being the best me I can be. Even with all my imperfections, unhappiness, and clear shortcomings, Heavenly Father provides a way!
So over the past couple of months, as I was waiting in agony to get my call, feeling absolutely alone and forgotten at some times, to the day I got my call, the evening I was able to go through the temple, and the past few weeks I've been so terrified to go to a new place where I don't know anyone, and I'm going to be the most stationary I've ever been in my entire life (meaning no traveling), I've asked myself again and again "Why did you sign up for this?" I want to bring people closer to Christ and share the gospel in the way that Heavenly Father has provided me (I've always done stuff my own way, and I'll have the rest of my life to make up my own schedule). I want people to learn about their greatness from His perspective. The world teaches us that we need recognition from others to be great, which I think keeps us from fully being able to accept ourselves. I know that the greatness we can achieve doesn't need to immortalize our names in any history book, but greatness comes as we take upon ourselves an eternal perspective. Then, we can share this love, and confidence with others. Christ is my rock, my Redeemer, the reason that I am alive today, and I want to sacrifice a bit of my time and my desires to understand His life a little bit more, and to share that understanding with others. I know there is a living prophet on the earth today, Thomas Spencer Monson who is the President of our church. A church that was restored by Joseph Smith, who saw God the Father and Jesus Christ in a grove of trees when he was only 14 years old.
I want to go share the gospel because it is simple, and it is true. I don't have all the answers, and I know that I don't need all of them, because the truth is simple. Heavenly Father loves me, He knows me, and He wants me to return to Him. This is true for everyone, and I want to teach those who are willing to learn, testify to those who can hear, and just generally try to be a good influence to the people I have the privileged of interacting with in this life. My whole life-career goals are centered around helping people become their best them by forsaking things that are holding them back (helping teenagers with substance use/abuse/addiction issues). My deepest desire in life is to help people see their own personal goodness and the goodness in those around them through all of the negative crap that weighs upon us in this life. I want people to make positive changes in the world, and understand that there is more to life than "greatness" or money or the next awesome fruit phone. You are your most important investment, and your purpose has no earthly value.
So Lubbock, watch out! Sister Lagrosa is on her way! June 5th is when the adventure begins. :)
Love, Sister Heather Ann Lagrosa
