The Story Pt. 1

This is one of "those" stories I'd never thought I would be putting down in words... The two-Mormons-meet-and-somehow-"fall in love"-and-practically-get-married-the-next-day-story.

However, one short month from today I will be married to the love of my eternity! This is our story from my perspective, it was quite a journey to start off with, and I believe with all of my heart if it is any foreshadowing of our eternity, I'm going to have one exciting endless existence with this man!

Friday 1 May 2015--> While I'm making some curry to end a two day fast kicking off a cleanse my roomie and I are doing I get a call from my wonderful mission friend Braelene at 6:30pm It's completely out of the random, but she asks if either of us happen to be free for a date to see a movie at 7:45...

My excitement at the prospect of this girl being in town fades as she explains her friend from Provo is looking for a date, but she is stuck in Rexburg. Even though I've been home from the mission for a few months I still haven't seen that many movies, Brittan doesn't want to go, and Braelene is vouching for this kid, so sure why not? If I'm not home in a couple hours Brittan will find me, so I’m not worried.

“Wonderful, I’ll give him your phone number and he’ll call you. I love you girl!”

Braelene hangs up, and I realize I have to go change and put on some real clothes, so I leave Brittan to tend the curry, and 5 minutes later I get a phone call with a  really friendly voice on the other side.

[So just to put a side note in here my address confuses people because it’s an apartment complex, but the number East in the address refers to the apartment number.]

The first thing I ask is if he’s lost, because it gets confusing, but he says no, he’s just looking for the apartment, and I offer to go and find him, so I step outside my door, and…

“…wait talk louder.”

I’m confused. “What?”

“Say something more…”

Braelene, Me and Joshua
(I may be on my tiptoes ;)

“Joshua… where are you?”

“I HEAR YOUR VOICE!”

The voice in my ear sounds a little different than the voice coming from behind me… I turn just in time to then I see this tall ginger kid with an excited child’s smile emerge from around the side of the building. 

I think to myself, ‘well it’s going to be a fun night!’ as I introduce him really quick to my roommate, and then leave to make it to the movie in time. We park a little far away, and he mentions something about ninjas, wanting 30 children, and that we are meeting up with his friends as we walk towards the the theatre, and I think to myself ‘what a weirdo! this kid is hilarious!’

We ended up sitting really close to the front of the room to watch the Avengers, and I somehow manage to be between him and his married friend who’s cute 6-month old makes Hulk noises every time the big green guy is on the screen. Being the cuddly person I am too, I feel this weird urge to hold his hand, so I just awkwardly place it on our shared armrest…

By the end of the movie I am thoroughly impressed with the attention span and lack of crying that comes from baby Hulk, and become a little self conscious as I further realize this movie was a work event when Joshua’s coworker reminds him teasingly not to kiss on the first date, as she points out we are cutely matching in our plaid shirts. As we stand outside I forget how to talk, and he apologetically realizes that even though we’ve been together a couple hours we don’t know anything about each other. He offers to take me to dinner, but it’s late, so I just offer him some of the curry I made, and hopefully some good conversation if I can remember how to talk.

As a good gentleman does, he continues to open doors for me, and we get back to my place and enjoy some good conversation over delicious food. Our common interest list grows exponentially when he finds out my brown-ness comes from being half Filipino, and sees my blackbelt hanging near my mission flags. I’m intrigued to learn that he teaches knife fighting!

At some point the date comes to an end, and there is a great good-night hug, and he says:

“This has been a really good night, I would love to take you out again.”

“I work evenings, so I’ll have to let you know what nights I’m off next week.”

“Please do, I really look forward to getting to know you better.”

“Me too Joshua, I’ll let you know tomorrow. Have a good night!"

Needless to say I go to bed thinking… wow, what a random thing to happen to me today! And what an interesting kid!

The next day…

(Saturday 2 May 2015)

I’m pleased to be off work, and I’m sad to realize that I won’t be available for a date until Friday night, so I text Joshua in the early afternoon so as not to seem too excited.

After checking the phone regularly for two hours between rounds of basketball at the Ky and Kylie's, I get a text back saying:

“Wonderful! :) Can I be audacious and ask you out for Friday?”

They notice a grin on my face as I read the text. Ky says “Girl, you can’t say yes if he’s not man enough to call!”

So thinking to myself, ‘he just asked if he could ask me on a date’ I text back commenting on his wonderful vernacular.

Within ten minutes I get a phone call, and I answer it…

“So I have this rule for myself, I can’t ask a girl out on a date over text message. I’m glad you have next Friday off Heather, could I take you out on a date?”

My heart is basically melted from sheer unexpected proper courtship, and my excitement level about this kid skyrockets from interested to ‘dang, who is this guy!?!?!’

This new level of excitement and some witty banter perfectly sets up his next statement:

“Friday is so far away, I think I’m going to need to see you before then!”

My heart stops for a second, and a string of random thoughts come to my mind ‘Why are so interested in me? It’s because I’m brown isn’t it? …well I AM pretty amazing, and humble. Oh man I’m hilarious.’

So we set up a fun brunch date for Tuesday, and agree we’ll get in touch on Monday to finalize the plans.

Still in shock and awe from this kid’s exceptional manners, my mind seems to function a little slower and my face won’t lose a little grin as I continue with the evening.

Sunday rolls around and I wake up, excited I get to go to my ward since I’m not working the morning at the hospital, and even more excited that we are making dinner for lovely friends! But there’s a part of me that is dying a little bit because I’ve not called Joshua to ask if he wants to come over for dinner too.

After church I ask Brittan: “It would be weird right? …I mean we just went on a date like basically yesterday. I should just wait to call him tomorrow… I can do that. Why am I so excited about this kid!??!”

…okay so it was more of talking at her than asking her anything, but at least I get to a decision to wait for Monday.

And Monday comes!

My first thought as my eyes open:

'Wooohooooo I get to call Joshua today!'

As I reach for my phone… 'Woah, calm the freak down girl… it’s like 7 am'

So instead I tell Brittan “Hey guess what I get to do today!?!?! CALL JOSHUA!!!”

Eventually I get to talk to him before my evening shift, and we decide on brunch the next morning. 

We take the day to brainstorm brunch ideas, and talk again later for about an hour and a half after I get off work.

Tuesday

I wake up and it feels like Christmas as I do my morning transport at the hospital, and return home to get things started for our date.

My usual confident composure is completely lost when he comes over and I totally forget how to carry on a conversation. I’m literally thinking, as we are assembling quinoa bowls in the kitchen: ‘How the crap did you forget how to talk? …seriously you graduated college… with a psych major… you should be able to carry on a conversation dude….’

What a brunch right? ;)

My mind doesn’t completely soak in all of the conversation we have, especially when I accidentally drop some avocado on my dress, and I’m trying to figure out why he is purposefully spilling his avocado too. As he explains that it makes your date feel more comfortable too, I just keep thinking about what a cute weirdo he is.

Then, a really great… and I mean great as in big, not as in awesome, scratch comes to my throat that just cannot be soothed by water. This fact is proven as I start choking when I take a drink… and yes this was followed by Joshua trying to choke on his water too.

I start crying because I’m coughing so hard tears come to my eyes, and I’m grateful the flushed nature of my cheeks can be blamed on that, and not just my horrific embarrassment at the fact that he thinks I just swallowed my water wrong, but really I’m just choking for no reason, and then that thing happens when your nose starts to run… but not just run, it’s like mini Niagra Falls... so I try to excuse myself with as much grace as possible.

While I’m in the bathroom I take a few deep breaths, and pray that things won’t get any more embarrassing… hopefully we can just laugh about this later…

When I return to the table though I remember that we have the common interest of knives! As we talk about throwing knives, I enjoy the mix of respect and disbelief that comes to his face as I show him my personal set.

The time comes too soon for everyone to return to work. He gives me a very friendly hug and my awkwardness of speech, mixed with the embarrassment of choking and lack of previous physical contact comes together with: 

“So I’m kind of a touchy-feely person…”

as my hands slide into his.

He giggles a little bit, in an oddly masculine way, and squeezes my hands tighter as he pulls me closer to him and kisses my forehead. 

I feel an incredible warmth, like the Spirit filling me with the most sobering excitement I’ve ever felt in my life ascend from my toes up to my heart. Before I realize it I’m hugging him again, and I’m just stunned by this delightful peace I’m feeling in his arms.

… needless to say, my heart is floating for the rest of the day, and much into my sleepless night.

So on Wednesday I wake up after sleeping for a couple hours, I rollover and ask Brittan: "How can you be asleep when it's Christmas!?!?!?!?!?!" Well, it's not Christmas for her, but my extra energy gives me the motivation I need to speedily get ready for work even with the lack of sleep.

Then I get a text from Brittan: "It is Christmas!" ...and pondering on the missed call I have from Joshua I realize I missed him at my apartment this morning!! So I decide to stop by home before heading up to my babysitting job and I see the most beautiful purple flowers sitting on our table!

So I die a little bit more with joy, and then come to life again when we finally get a good texting conversation going, that isn't awkward because we're used to just talking on the phone. We talk about the logistics of us meeting being incredibly improbable, and decide that we need to have a mango date that night. He's really excited to tell me something.

I don't think I can wait till the night, but I try to work on my patience, and then decide that if I'm not going through a crazy manic episode I should be able to feel some peace in the temple. So after work, I go with Brittan, for some reason, know that I'm not just being crazy, I'm just crazy about him. At some point between the temple and work round 3, I call him and we talk for minute, and naturally my being crazy about him comes up... I tell him it's weird for me to feel this strongly about someone, because as much as I love people I generally don't like them or crush on them. Of course, he just tells me he wants to wait to see my face when he tells me how he's feeling. So naturally, I can't wait but I have to go.

So I get home from work, and I'm dying for him to get to my place so we can talk. But he's not there yet, and I'm freaking out a little bit and pacing and talking to Brittan. My heart stops when there is a knock on the door, but it's Ky and Kylie! So I continue pacing, and start my story over again about how this amazing kid is making me feel!

My heart stops again and everyone screams a little when there another knock on the door, but it's Tati, our friend who has been staying with us for a few nights!

Various voices with displeased remarks unavoidably come out as everyone squeezes onto our full-sized bed, and I start up again my oration of meeting this man... then we hear another knock!

My anxiety is through the roof when I open it, and it's our neighbor from across the building returning a roll of paper towels she borrowed over the weekend!

I inadvertently let out a little frustrated sigh as I go back to the room and explain that it wasn't him at the door, and describe my disbelief in the chances that this night would be the night our door would be most knocked on! 

I hear another knock, and this time, approach the front door half expecting to see missionaries or Jehovah's Witnesses out there, but it's him! And he's got a bag of mangos! I think I smile the biggest I have in ages as I give him a hug, and introduce him to the abnormally large number of women in the apartment.

They got to the living room, while we go to cut mangos in the kitchen.

I'm going for the knife and cutting board, but he pulls me in for a really tight, and surprisingly comfortable hug as he tells me really sweetly:

“I’ve dated a lot of girls, and you  are just doing something to me, and it’s different…”

It’s really flattering to hear this, and I’m confused at the overwhelming desire to just get know everything about Joshua even though I want to call him Jordan, because I’ve only known him for a few days… so I try to formulate something intelligent to respond to him, and I’m pretty sure I’m successful when he has the cute excited kid grin on his face again.

He pulls me close again and says: “Hey, how about let’s be together, just me and you?!?”

For a short second the thought comes to my mind ‘Why didn’t we just have this conversation outside to begin with?’ and then I realize, ‘Ohhhhhhh, committed relationship… this is fast! but sure, why the heck not? You’re an awesome kid.’

Fortunately for the both of us that thought train comes out as less of a wreck:

“I like the sound of that.”

Somehow that huge kid grin got huger (yes, this a word)… and the next thing I know our faces are really close together, and I think our lips are touching, but the only thing I can think is:

‘What is happening right now?’as I realize my sudden lacks in speech and thought also extended to my kissing skills, and I’m standing there feeling like a 12-year old again.

"I've never been so excited to cancel a date!" He says cheerfully.

All I can do is laugh as I think 'Wow, I'm really glad you like me because I'm so sorry that was our first kiss! How the heck am I forgetting everything!!??!!'

So we cut some mangos...

... I realized this might take more than one night to write, so it'll be coming in parts ;)

But here's a cutesicles picture of us in front of the Provo Temple where we will be getting sealed in a month!! :D

It is Wonderful: Rebirth

So today was the 7^th anniversary of my confirmation as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! Yesterday I celebrated the renewal of my baptismal covenant as I do each week when I get to take the sacrament, and I celebrated my re-birthday too! My lovely roommate gave me a necklace to remind me of the tree of life, enduring to the end, and continuing to find peace and balance in life. Today, overall was pretty spectacular, but not super eventful, which made me reflect upon the talk Bishop Causse gave in conference two weeks ago…

As I’ve been contemplating where I am right now in my young life, I’ve been reflective about where I’ve come from. I remember how wonderful and sweet the gospel was when it first came into my life in the form of a couple exceptionally good friends in high school. One of which, had the courage to invite me to come to church… even though she knew I didn’t share her standards or believe in her deity, she gave the invitation, and I was able to attend!

That was wonderful. It was so wonderful to me to experience a love that I had never before felt, like the average teenager, I struggled with some pretty catastrophic ups and downs, but some of them were a little more rocky than average, and this first experience I had of love in that cute little church building was just the beginning of my understanding of a power that would literally save my life. So I kept attending, and then, after a couple months I met the missionaries.

That was wonderful. I remember the two boys with the same first name, their faces changed on occasion, but they were always really tall (I’m pretty short, so that’s not unexpected ;), always wearing suits, and always named Elder! They taught me some things about the church, about my relationship with my Father in Heaven, things I’d talked with those exceptionally good friends about, but didn’t put a whole lot of thought into… but the most important thing I learned was how to pray.

Now that, at first, wasn’t so wonderful. My heart was being opened by the spirit, and something inside of me was being stirred by the things I was learning in church and the tall guys with name tags, but every time I tried to talk to the “man upstairs” I just felt like my words were bouncing off the ceiling… until one night in frustration I put away my usual relief of stress, and got on my knees instead.

That was wonderful! The simple knowledge that God loves me personally, and that He was listening to my words, that changed my life. God loves me! The Spirit that testified of that truth to me was the same Spirit that was there when the missionaries were teaching me, the same Spirit that was in the building I’d spent 3 hours in every single Sunday, and the same Spirit that I felt when I’d heard truth and felt love in my life… that simple knowledge had such a profound effect on me that I could not even comprehend the things that had been set in motion.

That was wonderful, and over the next year I slowly made some changes in my life, almost losing it at one point… but those changes were made, and seven years and one day ago I was reborn, baptized by water just like my Savior. And the next day, the day I celebrate today, I was baptized by fire when I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, so that wonderful Spirit that I felt when I entered into that church building the first time, when I met with those missionaries, and when I received a witness for myself that there is a True and Living God; that wonderful Spirit could be my constant companion as I continue throughout my life.

Now that, that was truly wonderful.

I continued to have my ups and downs, and I still have them, but there is that anchor of peace in my life that I know is there, and that I seek out every day… yesterday was one of those days when the seas were a little rougher than usual, and the desire to get out of bed was minimal, one of those days when the darkness that is in the world seemed greater than the light for a little more than a minute… but you know what?

It is still wonderful.

I was blessed enough to be able to truly understand what life is at a young age, and circumstances permitted me enter into covenants to anchor my faith. I’ve been so blessed throughout the entirety of my life, through trials and strengths I’ve grown. But in these last 7 beautiful years of rebirth, I’ve understood better the meaning of “everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” I’ve understood what it is to be bold and valiant in my faith, and the strength that comes from keeping my covenants. I’ve understood what it is like to see light fade in my life as I become casual in my relationship with God and His simple steps He’s given me to stay on the right path. I’ve learned what it is to be not just active, but proactive in the gospel, and in my life.

God has made more of me than I could ever have made of myself, and it is my humble declaration that I will allow Him to continue to mold me in my life! Just as 

I know that it won't be easy, but it will be wonderful!

(And this will be my theme song for the trip :)

With all of my heart,

Heather Ann Lagrosa

Light and Balance

This is my song of the day: Light by the Rocket Summer:

All I needed was a light in the darkest place

 I've ever been in all my life, as I try to find my way 

And the changing season of my life and my eyes don't see

The things I love have run their course, are they done?

Are they just beginning?

And I'm old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough,

And young enough to know that I can't ever be too old enough to trust You!

Higher and higher I wanna go there with you,

Some say your fire, your fire is through...

And I don't wanna think that way.

     So it's been about 2 and a half months since I've been home from the mission, and there's been a LOT of adjustment happening up in here! On the mission the weeks felt like days, and the days felt like weeks; now the weeks still feel like days, but the days feel like minutes! I feel blessed with work, direction, and most importantly a considerable amount of love in my life... it has been incredible to experience the changes that I underwent out in the mission field! I knew I was changing, heck, anyone who read my e-mails home knew it, and boy oh boy how I grew! ...and how I continue to grow! It's been interesting to face similar life situations that I had in the past, and see them differently because of who I have become!

     It's made me ponder a lot on how to keep this going:

     Finding balance on this road I travel is a task for sure... it's like I have a book on my head and I'm trying to walk on a balance beam with it: the book is all my tasks I need to complete coupled with the everyday routine I need to be involved in; and the balance beam is spinning over a river that turns into that waterfall on Emperor's New Groove! haha, but for real, there's a new balance to be found every day, and there's an elegant peace that comes with that new accomplishment.

     Of the many activities of daily life that I've become acquainted with since I've been able to expand the ways in which I can consecrate my life unto the Lord has been working at the temple!

     It has by FAR been the best calling I have ever received! I really love the perspective it gives me on how short this time is here on earth, while reminding me of the importance of this blink of an eye that is my mortal life. The work I do, the work I could not do without my Savior's help... it's urgent, and it has eternal consequence; however, it's not the focus of my life... neither should it be. He is the ultimate and exclusive focus of my life, and I need to continue to allow him to light my steps. Christ is the word made flesh, and the word of God is truly a lamp unto my feet (Psalm 119:105).



     Another place that has helped me to gain perspective has been at institute class, where I'm learning more about God's word in a class on the book of Revelation and the book of Isaiah! :D It's basically foolproof, when you open the scriptures to have the Spirit speak to you and relate it to your life in some way, but in a classroom setting (and taking away the grading part of it), there's conversation and revelation that comes in very few other fashions... we spoke about balance in my Isaiah class, and my teacher explained this to us:

     This little picture shows a person's heart being weighed with a feather... now I'm no scriptorian or Egyptian historian, but in common man's term's I'll explain my understanding of this, and how that understanding has helped me obtain a little more light and truth in my life.
     So they had a belief that your heart would be balanced with a feather... in the scriptures it often talks about "hardened hearts" and how as we go through this life we have an opportunity to receive literal spiritual heart transplants, where we trade in our "stony" heart, to receive a lighter heart of sorts (Ezekiel 11 and 36). When we are baptized, we are reborn in Christ, our hearts change, the scriptures have many references of changing hearts paralleling lives coming in line with God's will. And the Egyptians had some partial truths in their faith (I mean, the children of Israel were in bondage there for a couple generations right?), and so, at that last day when you were judged (the balance representing justice), a light heart would balance out with a feather.
     I remember our teacher drawing another parallel my mind loves with the word light, it's very flexible in its meaning! It's not only a weight, but it's also a source of sight right? When we say the room is light, we generally aren't talking about its weight right? :D Anyway, as our hearts change, and those stony hearts are removed from our spiritual chests, and we receive the word of God, which is literally Christ (because everything testifies of Him), and He is truth and light personified; our hearts are filled with His light, and balancing out with a feather is perfect imagery for that do you not agree?

     Anyway, it makes me happy to think about... our time here is short! My time is short, but each moment is a blessing, each soul I am able to become acquainted with, each child of God I am able to assist on the path back to our Father, each one that is able to help me... it can seem a little stressful and chaotic, but at that one perfectly balanced perspective... from that angle there is an angelic beauty that can only be understood through the Spirit's impression.

With all my heart,
Heather Ann Lagrosa

I Like the Mission Life! -- A Postscript of Sorts

I figure it's about time I write down a few of the things that have been rolling around in my brain as I start so many responses recently with "That's one of the biggest things I learned on my mission!..."

It's almost hard for me to believe that I committed 80 weeks of my life to wearing a skirt, staying in one geographical area without getting on a plane, becoming even MORE technologically retarded, and being attached to another Sister 24 hours a day... but because the few luxuries of life I 'gave' up I've gained so much more perspective and love. I learned that I'm a deep thinker! Why I didn't know that the first 21 years of my life, I'm not sure, but I guess I also learned that I'm kind of unobservant sometimes. :P I learned more of my strengths and my weaknesses, and how to have that help me rely on my Savior. I learned more about what true charity is, how to not just look at someone, but see him or her as who he or she could become! I was tested, in every way and I learned the depth of my conversion, and decided to make it deeper. I've never had experiences where I felt so worthless nor irreplaceable... and all of these experiences, the extreme and the normal have come together for my growth, and my good. Luckily I was also able to be assistance in other's growth as well! :)

But now, I'm fixin' to head back west, which back in the day was the place to go for new beginnings, and it seems only fair that I give the mission chapter of my life a close and share some of my thoughts, goals, and resolutions (in as condensed of a form as I can muster up) for whatever they are worth. There are seven, just to keep it to a nice round, holy number. :)

1) Intention, Truth and Balance
Okay, so I could probably spend another 18 months just writing my thoughts about intention alone, but to keep this simplified I'll just relate this little lesson to Moroni 10:3-5 (a.k.a. Moroni's promise in the Book of Mormon). Where he promises that if you read, and pray with real intent, then the truth will be manifested to you by the Spirit of God.
As missionaries we invited people to make and keep commitments (like reading or praying) to help them come unto Christ. Just as the Savior Himself told His disciples that if they ask the Father anything [anything!] in His name, it would be given them. Well, we know that to be true; however, there is always a price to pay, a sacrifice to make for truth. That sacrifice is our will to be replaced with God's will. This can only be done with INTENTION TO CHANGE (see James 1:5-6).
Therefore, as we go about our lives, effectually to glorify our Father in Heaven, we need to do so with real intent. As we speak with others, we need to speak with intention to help, to love, just as the Savior did. When we look at ourselves and reflect upon our own actions and thoughts, we need to have intention and faith as we face truth that may not be the most enjoyable; and accept gracefully truth that is enjoyable without having it turn to pride.
With true intentions we can receive truth in a productive way and be able to balance out the negative and positive that come at us every day. To be able to rise above the negative, fiery darts of the adversary to ascend to our full potential; and to avoid the half-truths Satan feeds us as we may have a proclivity to be puffed up with unrighteous pride in our personal talents. As we do everything with intention, we receive truth and create balance.

...which leads to my 2nd lesson

2) You've Gotta Get Your Priorities Straight!
One of my favorite things ever said to me on the mission was on a Thursday evening in Midland Texas, from a man of rather large stature as we were trying to set up an appointment to return to see him and his family again. He said to us: "Now girls, there are only two things that matter in this world: God and Texas Football! ...this weekend is just not going to work"
Oh man that was classic, but it goes to show that we each have our priorities! :D For me though, what I learned throughout my 18 months was just a reinforcement of the two great commandments:

1st Love The Lord Thy God
2nd Love Thy Neighbor

With such a focus on becoming Christlike and everything it's sometimes difficult to remember the order of these two commandments in how we prioritize our lives. In my experience though, I've learned that you really can't love others to your full capacity without loving God fully first! With all of that though, with these priorities, I've learned that since we are imperfect our "fullness" capacity changes a little bit from day to day. So we need to work hard, and as we keep God first in our lives, and don't cheat ourselves out of the blessings of understanding our full potential, we will be able to love those around us without fear of our imperfections (or theirs) getting in the way.

...which leads to my 3rd lesson

3) Take Personal Responsibility (TPR)
This is one of my favorite lessons I've had re-edified on my mission! I always was taught as I was growing up to be responsible (which I've seen taught less and less over the past few years), but taking responsibility for your actions is the ONLY way that you can be the change you want to see in the world! Being responsible is the ONLY way you can have the freedom to do what you need to do to be your best self! And taking personal responsibility was taught to us very lovingly and honestly by our dear Savior, Jesus Christ.
Through His entire life, He exemplified that He was truly the Only Begotten Son of God. From teaching in the temple as a 12 year old child to His formal 3 year ministry that we have a little bit of a better record of... Jesus 1st knew that He was the Son of God and 2nd showed that knowledge (let's just say He took responsibility for that) by living in a way that everyone else who observed Him knew it too...
Even though it angered some, even though Jesus Christ was betrayed by one of His closest friends, He never ever blamed anyone else for the trials He went through, He never complained about the wickedness around Him and used it as an excuse to sin, but He lived true to who He was and what He was called here to do.
So the lesson I learned from Him, and from my mission, is that even though I have a million and a half things that I could blame for my shortcomings I simply cannot do it. I can't... I'm by no means perfect as my Savior is; however, I am an agent unto my own self, and I must act accordingly. My elevator may stop a few floors short of the the top of the building, and I may be tired from a long day of working my hardest and still not having everything done that I need to, but I can use that knowledge of my shortcomings and improve! I can take the stairs the rest of the way up, I can go to bed earlier so I'm not as tired, I can try to focus more, etc. But my shortcomings don't take away from my worth, but I know I'm meant for the top floor, so I'm not going to settle for less either!

Which leads me to my next lesson!

4) Love and Understanding
As I've learned about intention, priorities, and responsibility, I've realized that all of these practical life lessons (which pretty perfectly have gospel parallels... I'd even say they are gospel lessons, with mortal life parallels, but I digress...), with all of these lessons there is a root in love and understanding!

My life would not be, if it were not for love!

And it could not continue had I not sought for understanding.

Everything in my life is pretty meaningless without love... It's my motive for everything in one way or another. Love is understanding also. Quite a few of you who read this blog know my background, you know how my life has changed just a step at a time, and the reason for the great change that has come to be is the simple fact that I was able to feel God's love! Since that night I had my first prayer answered, I've been working hard to understand it more... it's no longer enough to just know He loves me... I need to experience it everyday, and my understanding of the truthful statement: Heather Ann Lagrosa you are a daughter of God and He loves you so much! just increases exponentially. I know I would not have chosen to be here on this earth had I not know that God loves me, I would not have stuck around had I not learned it again, and I could not continue to survive without the hunger to continue to understand that better...

Which leads me to lesson five!

5) The Basics Keep You Fit
In finding balance while progressing, I've learned that a schedule really keeps me sane! :D We always taught CPR (Church, Pray, Read Your Scriptures!) on the mission to keep us spiritually alive. And boy oh boy! has my testimony grown of that fact!!!! :D
In finding balance between the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual parts of ourselves in this crazy-demanding life we live, we need to do basic things every day to continue to function and stay fit (mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually!) For me, my basics are:
Mentally, I've got to be learning something daily- I need to stimulate my brain, make connections to things and find parallels and truth!
Physically- I need to run, walk, do something active to give my brain a break, and be more aware of this temple that holds my spirit.
Emotionally- I need to have depth in conversation, I need to focus on gratitude, and I need to feel productive/helpful.
Spiritually- I need CPR just like the rest of everyone else, I've also learned that I need to attend the temple, and I need to make a connection from the scriptures to 1- my life and 2- love EVERY DAY... otherwise I struggle.

Now these are just my basics, but it does lead to the next lesson I've learned...

6) Communication Is Everything
You really learn a lot about yourself and how you deal with other people by being attached to one other person 24/7 for 6 weeks at a time! In getting needs met, it is imperative that you have 3 lines of communication that are open.
1st- with Heavenly Father - I've learned that this truly is key to happiness is being open in conversation with Him, because He cares about the details of my life, but He doesn't micro-manage and just take all the bad stuff away when I ask, but He allows me to LEARN, and grow!
2nd- with myself - I'm probably the luckiest person in the world, because I get to spend 24 hours a day with myself! (...and I wonder why some people think I'm conceited... anyway, there is only partial truth to that last sentence :P) But, I've learned, especially on the mission that I need to be honest with myself about my own personal needs. They are different than most other people's needs, because I'm different, just like you, your family, etc.... but I need to be honest with myself so I can be teachable and open to 1- receiving help, and 2- growing and seeing my needs change
3rd- with those around you- Now this is not to say to just spill your guts to strangers on the street (although as a missionary you do just kind of give a piece your soul to everyone as you share your testimony with them...) but, what this means to me is that you need to be open with others so that you can receive help. We are all neighbors, we are all part of God's family, we all have a slight obligation to respect those around us. This is important to remember because Heavenly Father often uses others to answer our prayers, whether it's helping us gain a new perspective to giving us a shoulder to cry on, we need to have an open line with one another to be our best!

...and now for the best piece of advice:

7) DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
Okay, so coming right after the communication lesson, this isn't something like: hey carry a voice recorder around with you and transcribe your life, but something I learned on my mission is that material items kind of suck, and you really can't replace memories! I know my most valued possessions are my journals and my pictures... aside from my scriptures lol, but there is no better way to 1- remember the awesomeness that you're blessed with and 2- show gratitude for it than by writing it down so you can remember it!
Journals, pictures, letters... all amazingness!
My study journal is almost more favorite than my regular journal, because it's neat to see how the exact same words in the scriptures have a different effect on me and my thoughts over time.
Also, I have random thoughts journals, and theories and memoir... all in the works, but hey, we're all a work in progress right? :D
But pictures... now THERE is something IRREPLACABLE! haha, now I'm not the "let's get the perfect picture" kind of girl -- which isn't always the best -- but, oh man, the FUNNIEST moments are caught on camera! And sometimes those snapshots are worth more than a thousand words! :D

So this has been my mission... 

5 June 2013 - 17 December 2014

18 Months

15 Companions

8 Areas

7 Moves

2 States

1 Life-creating Experience

I know I've got a long ways to go in life, and the lessons I've learned I'll continue to learn. I'm 2 years older, and 20 years wiser I feel... I served in a town with a population of 300 to a city with a population of 300,000. I talked with everyone I met outside with temperatures ranging from 10 degrees to 110 degrees. I taught inside mansions, 5th wheel trailers, and even outside with a man standing on a ladder! I increased my love for running, and escaped a few dogs ;) I learned how to ride my bike and turn corners without hands. I rode and drove so many miles I couldn't even estimate. I ate peanut butter... LOTS of peanut butter. Oh and 7 habanero peppers in about 20 minutes... that one hurt! I got the flu for the first time in my life. I had some of the BEST holidays ever. I read my scriptures. I went fishing. I laughed. I cried. I lived... and some nights it felt like I died before I woke up the next morning lol... I met some of my best friends, and I faced some of my worst fears. But overall the greatest accomplishment to have come from this experience is me... who I am right now!

It's only kind of a bummer I'm going to be changing [for the better] continually anyway, but I know I'm working on a foundation of stone. I love my God, and I love myself. I'm converted and I'm always moving forward. With love and with hope, because I'm not quite home yet!

I love you! Thank you!

With all my heart,

[Sister] Heather Ann Lagrosa

Drop-kicking The Bucket - December 15, 2014

Howdy Howdy my Family and Friends!!

This is my last e-mail as a set apart missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! It is SO crazy! AH! I'm not going to lie though, I had one heck of a last week, and the most non and less-active members of my entire MISSION show up to church on my last Sunday! :D

God is IN the details, and tenacity really pays off! Sister Clark and I were able to accomplish all of our goals for the transfer, and one of them (which we have been praying about for the last 6 weeks!!!) was to find a family to teach, and we met them this past Tuesday! :D It was AMAZING! They literally JUST moved into town, and they are so sweet. A young couple (younger than me! ...my missionary 'death' is making me feel old, and... man, I'm just feeling old haha) with 2 beautiful little girls! Anyway, they are wonderful, and I'm sad I won't get to teach them much, but I'm really grateful that God knows each of us and His timing is perfect! :D  

Saying "goodbye"/ "see you later" has been surprisingly not too difficult! I mean, I've definitely shed a few tears, bearing my testimony last week, during my talk this week, and talking with some of the members about occasions that will unite us again. But, it's nice to be confident in God and His timing and to know that there are many ways to keep in touch in the world today.

I am just so incredibly grateful for the time I've been able to spend here in Childress! On a member's wall this week I saw a cute little sign that said:
"Home is having a place to stay, Family is having someone to love, and having both is a blessing."

I loved that so much, and something that I've really been able to experience here on my mission is the truth of those few words! In a lot of ways I feel like I'm leaving "home" just because my heart has just grown so much here! And, these amazing people really have become family to me...

Through a lot of tearful goodbyes I've been reflecting on the pros and cons of loving people... just because it's so darn hard when you leave them, and agh... there has to be something easier right? haha, well, you all know that John is my favorite, so this came to my mind:

John 15: 9-10 "As the Father hath loved me so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love."

I know that we love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19), and loving God allows us to grow in love for one another. President Uctdorf taught: "There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings." And I really believe that, our time is short here on this earth, shorter than any of us can imagine, and I am just so eternally grateful for the hope and joy and love that we get to experience! And that these experiences prepare us for the even greater things to come.

I love God, I love my family, and I love having more than just one place to call home. I love the opportunities we get to grow with each other, and I'm grateful for God's perfect timing!

I'm sad to leave my home in Texas, but I'm grateful, so, so, soooo grateful to have my family to go home to also. :)

With all my heart,

Sister Heather Ann Lagrosa

Pictures:

1- My last basketball with my lady bobcats this morning!

2- This is where the Texas Chain Saw Massacre happened!

3- Gas is OVER a dollar less than when I got here 4 1/2 months ago!

4- Sister Clark and I in our matching sweaters with our best friend necklaces!

5- Me and 'Lil Wayne (he thinks he could beat me up if he wanted to)

6- Hospital burritos!

7- You know you're in Texas when...

8- Nothing says comp unity like PINEAPPLE PANTS! #ilovesisterclark!!!!!

"Life is hard, that's the POINT, not the problem!" - December 8, 2014

Howdy howdy family and friends!

So, it's been an exciting week! So, I found this quote (the title of this e-mail) in my notes earlier, and it kind of went with the week. :P

So as y'all know, from last week's e-mail we were a little sick start to the week, but we rallied it up, and we got to work, and it. was. FANTASTIC! God KNOWS exactly what we need, and He definitely answers our prayers. :)

One Wednesday, we finally got to work the entire day, and we went to a little bitty town, Estelliene, where Danny met someone he said that we should go see, and we went out there and met a woman named Charley! She's so sweet, 83 years old, and full of energy! We found out on Friday (when we saw her again!) that she even cuts her own lawn, in the summer time... she's waiting on someone to help her with her roof, but I have no doubt she'd be up there herself if she could make it up a ladder! :P Anyway, we went over there, and at first she thought that Sister Clark was my MOM, and then thought that we were Jehovah Witnesses, haha, but we got to talking with her some more, and found a framed pass-along card in her living room lol! But it was good, we talked with her about Christ, and #HeIsTheGift, and then answered some of her questions about what we believe. On our way out, she cried with gratitude because she knew that we were truly sent from God to see her that day, and she felt the Spirit that we carry with us... that was amazing to me, just another witness that God is truly mindful of His children, we are all of such great importance to Him!

This week was highlighted a lot on Estelliene, because we went back on Friday (to see Charley) and we also met with a man named Mark (and his two neighbors Joe, and Jaime)... we got to bring Danny with us, and it was perfect, because he actually graduated high school there, and KNEW the men that we saw! haha, they played ball, and beat each other up back in the day, it was an amazing reunion, and seeing Danny glow as he was reunited with old friends was amazing to me!

On a sorrowful note, the baptism we were supposed to have this week has been postponed until after I leave Childress. :( Nevertheless, God is good, and I know that His will is being done... it lightens my heart to know that the trials we go through truly are for our benefit and God looks forward to our successes, rather than back on our transgressions, we just need to do the same. We are given obstacles to grow and become strengthened! :) I LOVE IT! (though, not always in the moment :P)

We got to go to the temple on Saturday, and I felt very blessed to be able to go and learn more, and, as usual, I got to see some of my Hobbs family there! :) It was AMAZINGGGG!!!! :D :D :D As hard as it is going to be to leave, I am looking forward to being able to attend the temple more often, and learning there, I really do feel that everything just comes together so much better in there. :)

Also, it was the BEST Sunday ever this Sunday, fast and testimony meeting, and I felt like I needed to get up there, especially after Sister Wyatt bore such a strong testimony of the blessings of the gospel and reflected on a lesson we took her with us to this week, and then spoke of the lasts she is having with her son, as he is leaving for his mission after the school year is over. The Spirit was making me cry a little! :P But they were happy tears, it was good to get up there, I feel I've learned a lot of the doctrine of conversion my entire mission, but I've really seen and experienced conversion the most here in Childress with the close tight-knit family they do have here, even though a lot of the members are spread out over a vast area. I got a little choked up there, it was good, and I was just so filled with gratitude. I know I'm the set-apart teacher, but I've been learning so much and it's all coming together at the end of my mission.

The most important thing though that stood out to me was that earlier that day I had this feeling that I could not be any happier or more content. And I know that that was true, but I know I've felt it before and it was true as well! I know that as I continue to follow the path the Lord wants me to take that I will continue to just be happier and happier, to be filled to a point where I feel I can't be filled anymore, and that I'll become exactly who I was intended to become since I chose to be here on the earth.

I love each of you! It's weird to think I'll be in Florida next week! I'm giving a talk on Sunday, and it feels like it's more of a farewell than the one I gave before my mission, haha but, I know that God's timing is perfect, and we're always blessed as we do His work. Just like He doesn't stop, neither does His work!

With all my heart,

Sister Heather Ann Lagrosa

Pictures!

1- Christmas Lights in Texas hahahaha! :D

2- We sealed our hardwood floor! :) I've learned all kinds of home construction out here! from wiring to hanging walls to painting to flooring! Watch out!!

3- Amber and I, with my new hat she gave me for my birthday! :D

4- Everyone at the temple!

5- Brother White, and his favorite Sisters!

6- Best. District. EVER!

7- LOVE this nativity!

8- My favorite redneck :)

The Struggle Bus is Real! ...and it Broke Down in Childress! - December 1, 2014

Howdy howdy family and friends!

So, at a recent Zone Conference our wonderful Mission Mom (Sister Heap) started a new phrase (the Struggle Bus) when she said that President got on it that morning. haha, so this week has been a rollercoaster, and it ended with the struggle bus breaking down in Childress, so get excited to hear about that haha.

But we'll start with the good stuff! Sister Clark (along with some awesome neighbors and help) succeeded in making the celebration of the completion of 23 years of life the BEST ever! I think my birthdays that fall on Thanksgiving end up being the most memorable :P

But, yeah, last Monday our neighbor started off the week with making me a 3 tier birthday cake! And delicious Mexican casserole, we had cake again on Tuesday at our district meeting, crazyness on exchanges following that, the STL's helped make Wednesday the be Birthday-eve ever, then my actual birthday was just filled with SO much Thanksgiving fun (I got sung to by a lot of strangers, we had Thanksgiving with the Keys clan, 4 generations of them! (and one generation has 10 kids in one family!), we played football and someone even pulled over to take a picture for Me and Sister Clark, when we were taking a picture near a Childress sign!) and then the struggle bus pulled up and I was just kind of knocked out Friday and Saturday with the flu, and then Sister Clark got it yesterday... 

I have honestly never been so sick in my life, as I was on Friday, I felt like a little kid, because it just hurt to move, open my eyes, or even lay there, I didn't even have enough strength to open a bottle of water and y'all know I"m not a wimp! :P haha, when Sister Clark made me eat 2 bites of banana with the medicine she gave me, we were both surprised that I just burst into tears! :(

I finally got feeling well enough Saturday to go out for a couple hours, but by Sunday everything except my stomach was pretty functionable! :)

Anyways, the missionary work this week went great too! Even better than birthday festivities. We had one of the BEST district meetings of my mission, and we were able to really see Heavenly Father's PERFECT timing at work during exchanges!! :D Also, Scottie, our wonderful recent convert, Danny's nephew is going to be baptized this coming week!

So, so soooo much goodness. Since I can't talk about everything, because time is really running out, I just want to talk about the 2 highlights of the week: 1- Heavenly Father's timing and 2- Service in Quanah!

First, Heavenly Father's timing, so we had my last exchanges this week with Sisters Plante and McFarland, and we had surprise construction on our house start haha, so literally EVERYTHING was moved around in our house, and we couldn't cook for almost 2 days because they were sanding the floor, and part of our front wall to our house was missing hahaha! But it all worked out sooooo perfectly, because, we really needed an extra set of missionaries with the appointments we had set up, and we taught literally every hour we were out! Heavenly Father knows what's up! And later that night when I was a little anxious, becasue the house was a wreck, y'all know I like things organized right... anyway, he answered a really simple prayer, and I woke up, in the same disorganized house the next morning with no anxiety! :) 

Second, SERVICE IN QUANAH! this overlaps a little with Heavenly Father's timing, because having the other sisters here was sorely needed for help in the kitchen on Wednesday (good thing we were all Sister Missionaries!!) Then we got up early and spent 4 hours thanksgiving morning in Quanah and made over 200 meals for people in town and in some of the surrounding areas too! It was probably my favorite service activity that I've ever done, I'm excited to try and top it next year! :P

Ah! Well, my time is far spent, but I love, love, LOOOOVEEEEE you! and my scripture for the week is:
Alma 34:38 "That ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yoursleves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you."

Keep looking for truth, searching for the spirit, and living in gratitude! I'll do the same!

With all my heart,

Sister Heather Ann lagrosa

Pictures:

1- Football on Thanksgiving!

2- Struggle Bus Day 1

3- Sunday Night :(

4- The front wall of our house kind of missing!

5- Our Quanah Crew on Thanksgiving day!

6- Birthday Flowers from my Mommy and Pops :D

7- Making sure those teeth sparkle!

8- Awk district pic, we made the elders try to look like they love each other :P

9- Yep, I'm a 23 year old woman, and we took a picture next to "Butts" road

10- Our Thanksgiving assembly line!